Finding OK
An intersectional healing podcast for survivors of sexual assault and any/all abuse. When survivors share, they share strength. "Finding OK" helps people navigate this difficult healing process. The focus is on recovery, self-care, empowerment, and healing. You are not alone.
New to Finding OK?
6
April 7, 2026
Water Your Garden
Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception. Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coer
4
Sept. 9, 2025
Sexual Assault During Menstruation and Post-Trauma Triggers
In this episode Hecate discusses why menstruation can be triggering for survivors, especially for those who have been assaulted during their periods. Hecate provides statistics from medical studies indicating that a significant percentage of SA survivors were menstruating at the time of their assault. The combined social stigmas against speaking about SA and menstruation mean this is an experience that is not being talked about enough, leading to even greater feelings of isolation and shame. The
3
Aug. 5, 2025
Healing Honestly
In this episode I speak with Alisa Zipursky about her book 'Healing Honestly,' a powerful resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Alisa and I discuss the legitimacy of traumatic memory, the harmful myth of False Memory Syndrome, and the journey of healing through self-acceptance and community support. Alisa shares insights on overcoming self-blame and self-shame, parenting as a survivor, and finding strength in connections. Whether you're a survivor yourself or supporting one, this ...
3
Aug. 8, 2023
Raising Yourself
Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robbed us of the opportunity to grow up the way we deserved. Alice's Website: https://www.cottonsox.co.uk/ A
7
Sept. 2, 2021
Coercion Isn't Consent - A Personal Story
This is a personal and raw episode where I share the story of one of my assaults. Coercion isn't consent. Two Hundred "No's" and one "Yes" is still "No". If you have a similar story, you are not alone and it wasn't your fault. It was rape. Your trauma is valid. Episode Notes: Consent: https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent Guest Interview with BardicSway on Twitch for RAINN Fundraiser - LIMITED TIME ONLY This is me! Talking! with my FACE! Join Twitch to join me for livestreams! @Hecat
6
Oct. 17, 2023
Let Me Prey Upon You - Healing After Clergy Abuse
Sandy Phillips Kirkham is a survivor of clergy abuse and the author of, "Let Me Prey Upon You". Sandy was very active in her church growing up, her faith was the center of her life. When she was 16 her youth pastor groomed and manipulated her into a sexual relationship. After years of abuse she managed to exit the relationship and reclaim her life. Sandy kept her experience a secret for 27 years before she had to face it and begin her healing journey. Today Sandy is a strong advocate for survivo
13
Jan. 21, 2022
The Assault I Don't Discuss - A Personal Story
In this episode I share my experience of anal rape, discuss the dangerous myth that boys/men/AMAB people can't control themselves, discuss consent, and talk about some of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to identify this particular assault as valid and as a rape. Sexual Assault can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Women and AFAB people experience anal rape too and it is not discussed enough. Because anal sex continues to be taboo in out culture there is an
9
Nov. 24, 2021
Deconstructing Religious Abuse
Anna grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family as part of the Quiverfull movement. She and her six siblings were not allowed to attend school and were very isolated from the outside world. Everything about her childhood was strictly controlled, from the clothes she wore to the media she had access to. She was expected to teach herself from primarily religious texts as well as teaching and caring for the younger children. Her future was laid out for her as a submissive wife and mother to many
Recent Episodes
6
April 7, 2026
Water Your Garden
Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception. Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coer
5
Dec. 16, 2025
The Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification
Join Hecate in this episode of 'Finding OK,' a healing podcast for survivors of SA and abuse, as they delve into the concept of "the male gaze", how it's internalized, its role in objectification, and its intersection with sexual healing post-trauma. Inspired by Margaret Atwood's poem from 'The Robber Bride', Hecate explores how societal beauty standards and the male gaze have influenced their self-perception, sexuality, and share reflections on their journey toward authentic pleasure and int...
4
Sept. 9, 2025
Sexual Assault During Menstruation and Post-Trauma Triggers
In this episode Hecate discusses why menstruation can be triggering for survivors, especially for those who have been assaulted during their periods. Hecate provides statistics from medical studies indicating that a significant percentage of SA survivors were menstruating at the time of their assault. The combined social stigmas against speaking about SA and menstruation mean this is an experience that is not being talked about enough, leading to even greater feelings of isolation and shame. The
3
Aug. 5, 2025
Healing Honestly
In this episode I speak with Alisa Zipursky about her book 'Healing Honestly,' a powerful resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Alisa and I discuss the legitimacy of traumatic memory, the harmful myth of False Memory Syndrome, and the journey of healing through self-acceptance and community support. Alisa shares insights on overcoming self-blame and self-shame, parenting as a survivor, and finding strength in connections. Whether you're a survivor yourself or supporting one, this ...
2
July 1, 2025
Healing Through Art and Navigating No Contact
In this episode of Finding OK, I interview Polish LGBTQ+ comic artist Monika, best known for her series 'My Secret Lesbian Comics.' Monika shares her journey as a survivor of child abuse and discusses how she processes her trauma and finds healing through her side project, 'Self-pity Social Club.' We discuss the impact of her abusive mother, the decision to go no contact, and navigating relationships within her family afterwards. Monika also shares some powerful tools from therapy, offers advice
1
Feb. 18, 2025
Healing is a Revolutionary Act - Addressing the Rise of Fascism
In this episode of Finding OK, Hecate returns after a year-long hiatus to provide an update on the podcast and share personal insights on intersectionality, kyriarchy, and the importance of understanding systemic oppression as part of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Hecate discusses the interconnectedness of personal trauma and broader social injustices, and emphasizes the need for community and collective action against systems of oppression. The episode encourages listeners to engage wi
Listen On
Support On
Recent Blog Posts
Feb. 6, 2024
Finding OK is on Break!
Finding OK is on hiatus until further notice. I am stepping back from production for mental health and financial reasons. During this time I will be focusing on self-care. At the end of every episode I always remind you to, “take care of yourself”, …
July 11, 2023
Letters for the Fire ~ Season 5
Letters for the Fire is back! This has had such overwhelmingly positive feedback from listeners and participants that it is now a permanent part of the show. I'm so glad to know that it's been an empowering and beneficial experience for folks who ha…
July 19, 2022
Letters for the Fire ~ Season 4
Letters for the Fire is back for Season 4! Thank you to everyone who participated in Season 3's project, and thank you to everyone who reached out with feedback and who let me know I should bring it back in Season 4. I'm so glad that this has been a…